Who is my friend? What does it mean to be a friend?
I have been spending a lot of time evaluating how I want to come “back” into the world after this pandemic. I sequestered as a new member of the “mother of three” group and stayed in touch with friends via mainly virtual means for several months. Some relationships naturally went more on pause than others, as we all had different priorities of our time during our new schedules (and some of us, like me, had new babies!)👶
During the pandemic I also learned more about the anti-racist movement and have continued to make efforts to become anti-racist myself. Racism is a mortal sin and I owe it to my soul to uncover and uproot it with as much vigor as my passion for any other grave issue; my very salvation is at risk if I remain ignorant or impassive to its vile existence.
The pandemic also brought a highly divisive election, followed by the availability of the Covid vaccine and conversations around whether it should be taken.
Discussions around these issues allowed a chance to reflect on motivations around these decisions and how they aligned with my beliefs (namely personal freedom and choice vs the good of society/those weakest who could not be protected with vaccine).
I also realized I may be an introvert (or maybe an ambivert). That came as a surprise! While I enjoy the company of others and participating in discussions, I am thoroughly enjoying the role of listener in some of my newer friendships!
So I am a year older and a lot different (not necessarily wiser, but hopefully a little more open-minded and open-hearted). And before me is a fresh opportunity to grow friendships, new and old. Cultivating those carefully is important, as my free time is scarce and “friend time” necessarily cuts into quality time with my family.
So back to my original question, who is my friend?
Well, piggybacking on my favorite definition of love, a friend is someone who wills my good (the good of another). If a person wills my good, my true good, what a priceless treasure he or she is!
“For he that is not against us is for us.”
Mark 9:40
Jesus’ words here remind me that a person does not need to be like me, share my interests, or even be a Christian to will the good of the other (for that law is written on our hearts)! If a person is not against me, they’re on my side! Friendship is not an exclusive offering to “qualified applicants”, and is enriched by diversity!
(I intentionally did not select the verse on someone being willing to lay down one’s life for one’s friend, I’ll reserve that special requirement for my husband 🤣)
I’m playing particular attention to friendships that can help me grow in love and holiness. Friendships that bring joy and laughter, and also challenge me to be better!
True friendship is strength for the spiritual journey. We are made to live in community and I’m grateful for all the oportunies to reinvigorate or develop new friendships.
Let us pray:
Lord God, ruler of the universe, how wonderful it is that you seek us out to be our lover and our friend!
Help us cherish and nourish those whom you have entrusted to us as friends.
Please provide us with friendships filled with joy and love and growth and discovery. Friendships that ultimately less us to Your heart.
In you is all gift and all glory! Amen!