Holy means to be set apart, not to be perfect
I remind myself of this as I sit outside with my tantrumming toddler 3 minutes into All Saints Day Mass, which has started right before his bedtime typically commences.
I remind the saints on their great holy day to not rest but instead pray for me, especially my mother favorites St. Helena, St. Monica, St. Zelie, St. Hannah, and Mary.
Reminding myself that tantrum is a part of expression and part of the normal suffering of parenthood, we ride it out and within a few minutes we’re back inside, albeit in the cry room. My short time set apart in the dessert, over.
I’ve started listening to Hallow’s podcast from an exorcist and today he talked about the devil’s ordinary tactics 😳. But my big takeaway was that peace comes from God and that if there are areas of your life that aren’t in peace to examine where they’re coming as it could be sinister, and ask God for help in that area.
This is a great examen. In the last year, with the help of amazing resources, I have been able to examine the areas where I don’t have peace and resolved or on path to resolution for the big ones. Praise God! Sometimes the resolution is setting a boundary, sometimes the resolution is changing how I think about a situation in a way that no longer leads to unrest.
Peace is a great barometer for our path to holiness and we can see this in the saints who often remained peaceful despite horrific martyrdoms and long illnesses and betrayals and denials and discriminations and all the rest. Sometimes the saints were literally set apart from others, sometimes mentally, sometimes they were surrounded and had no time apart. And yet they were able to find God in the reality of their lives.
Peace is not equal to lack of suffering. This is a great lie that I believe is especially prevalent in America. Success is our state of mind despite our circumstances, and not the systematic removal of all suffering, especially through increasing consumption and entertainment.
God Himself tells us several times in scripture that suffering is part of life and is integral to love. Peace is our inner disposition and our approach to the reality of life, whatever it throws our way. Peace is knowing our final destination and our true nationality is heaven, not the world.
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”
St. Julian of Norwich
Tantrums used to be a place of unease and unrest for me, but as I’ve learned how they are developmentally appropriate, I’ve also changed my own attitude and now tantrums are more something that builds me and my child’s bond of expression and trust and something that I remind myself will be over as soon as my child is ready. Something that used to bring chaos now is now something I can find rest in despite the turbulence.
My beautiful little toddler made it through Mass with his typical cry room antics, given the new crowd present.
When we walked up for Communion, he asked the priest, “Are you Jesus?” To which the priest responded, “No, but Jesus is here,” pointing to the Host. Nodding, my son accepted the answer and moved on.
May we all be like little children who are comfortable throwing our tantrums, boldly approaching God, and asking our questions. Pondering, contemplative, but ultimately open to belief in the big answers the universe holds for us 🙏🏾.